So, yeah, on a cruise. By myself, which is fine. A not-gay cruise, also fine. To a place I’ve been before, also fine.

Some basics – C and I did about 8 cruises together, on various lines, lower- and higher-end. The more we did it, the higher-end we got, not only opting for the balcony cabins, but (on our honeymoon) one with butler service. And then, on our Baltic cruise in 2017, we put in a bid for an upgrade to a corner stateroom and got it, which gave us not only a huge stateroom with a separate living room and bedroom, but butler service and access to the secret parts of the ship that only the high-rollers could go – our own lounge, restaurant, sundeck (not that there was much sunning in mid-fall on the Baltic).

So, booking this cruise, I knew what I wanted to splurge on and what not. The line is Carnival, by far the tackiest of the lines we’ve been on, but one where you can have a nice experience if you know how to work it. Plus, one of their main advantages is that some of their cruises go straight out of Manhattan (like this one). This ship doesn’t have single-occupancy staterooms, so I knew I’d have to pay double occupancy or bring a friend (I love you all, but not that much). And I could have gone cheapest by going for an inside stateroom (no windows). But splurge I did, and here I sit on my private balcony. One issue I’ve had on every single cruise is that it’s hard to find a place to do quiet projects – even in the cozy parts of the ship, there’s always piped-in music or such. Even in the library on one ship, that was where they did tech support for attaching to the ship’s WIFI, and it was a constant stream of befuddled (and loud) guests. So being able to hang out (mostly quietly) on the balcony is a real plus.

So the room is great – actually, it would have been cramped for the two of us, but for one, it’s fine. One odd problem is that there are no plugs against the wall at the head of the bed – which means I have to plug in my CPAP machine across the floor to the other wall. It worked last night, but I can just picture me getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, tripping on the cord, and going flying.

I’m on deck 7, which is 3 below the Lido deck (with the cafeteria and the pools) and just a couple/few floors above the interesting stuff (shops, restaurants, casino). I’m definitely getting not only my steps, but my STEPS (stairs) in, which is good – particularly yesterday when the elevators were constantly tied up. I’m at the stern, which means that it’s not at all a big deal to go right up to the cafeteria or the pool.

The way the food works on cruises nowadays is you have basic dining (the cafeteria, the poolside hamburgers and the main restaurant) included in the fare. But they encourage you to take a dinner or two in their specialty restaurants (there’s always a steakhouse, and here there’s also an Italian and a Japanese restaurant) for extra bucks. C and I usually took advantage of that, since fine dining was one of the things we really liked to do. I didn’t bother booking any this time, but I am finding that (on this ship, and on Carnival generally, probably) the basic level provided is just a notch below what I’d like. We get the most inexperienced waiters, for instance. (My breakfast waiter tried to take my order without having given me a menu.) And the food is fine without being anything special, and often less hot since it’s been carried in from god-knows-where before being served. So I think the way to go in the future is to find a line where the basics are just fine for me, and then I can go special above that. Also, Manhattan is great for a cruise start, but I’ll bet Brooklyn wouldn’t be that bad either, and there are cruises that go out of Brooklyn, which would increase my options. I’d had a mild fear that going on a cruise by myself just wouldn’t be that interesting, but I’m having a really nice time so far, despite my own dumbasseries.

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So, blow-by-blow. I’d preregistered for the first boarding group, and left my house about 11:00 via Uber for an 11:30 time slot. For a short cruise, they only allow you to check one suitcase, but of course you can schlep around however much you want outside of that. I’d figured I’d need a second luggagey thing, and had some good options, but once I packed, I realized I really only needed an overhead-sized small roller, so it was that plus my backpack. Checked the big suitcase, went through the boarding process with a thousand other people, and it moved very quickly. But I was expecting at some step to get my room key, and it turned out that you only got that when the rooms were ready at 1:30. (They literally keep the doors shut to the room corridors, then open them with a flourish at 1:30.) They also expected you to go to your ‘muster station’ to get your safety briefing as soon as you got on board, and while I was happy to do that, the first I heard about it was when I got on board and just was not sure what was next.

(One weird thing about this ship is Deck 3, which is where you enter, and which has a big atrium with a bar and stuff and the entrance to the restaurant, doesn’t have a way to walk between fore and aft. Which means if you want to go from 3 forward to 3 aft, you have to go up to 4 and walk through the smoke-smelly casino, or up to 5, which is all bars and shopping, but nicer.)

So I did what everyone else does, which is go to the cafeteria (sorry, “The Marketplace”) for lunch. People were already in the pool – did they bring their swimming stuff and change in the public bathrooms? Or were they among the high-rollers who probably got into their rooms first? Anyway, parked my stuff and my big sun hat at a table, got some ‘lime cilantro coleslaw’ and fritto misto, and that was fine, then some cake, yum. Poked around until we got into the rooms at 1:30. My suitcase hadn’t shown up yet, but I was able to dump the rest of my stuff and go exploring.

I feel like yesterday afternoon was kind of rushed, but there wasn’t really anything going on. I had a sandwich at 3:00, then right before 4:00, waited in a long long line to get a very expensive pina colada to drink while we set sail. Parked on the Manhattan side as we headed out of the Hudson, then switched to the other side to see the Statue of Liberty. Then back to my room to sit on my own balcony and wait for my suitcase. Unpacked. Discovered that, for some reason, although I’d had every intention of bringing a variety of bags for every occasion (general tote bag, swimming bag, fanny pack, evening murse), some of those never showed up. How did I not pack them? Anyway, I ended up buying a Carnival-branded shoulder-baggy thing for way too much money, but it’s doing the trick for stuffing my phone and kindle and handwipes in.

Mr. C had taught me something very clever, which is to go swimming late in the day before you get cleaned up for dinner. Crowds are light, it’s very relaxing. So I went up at 6:00, hung out in the aft pool for a nice soak, then got out to find my sail card was missing. This is your room card and what you present to everyone to pay for stuff. I’d put it in my t-shirt pocket, quite deliberately, but either it fell out or someone swiped it from the chair while I was in the pool. (I’m not sure what they can do with it, we’ll see if I get weird charges for about an hour on 7/4.) So I had to down to guest services in my dripping bathing suit, wait in line for about a half hour, then say, “sorry, but I’m that guy…” They cut me a new card with no problem in about 2 minutes.

(And I missed the chance to put my name in for a drawing for a free cruise. Dammit!)

Back to the room, showered, dressed a little pretty and headed out. I wanted a cocktail, and discovered that, of the many many places to drink on the ship, the piano bar was perfect. Our pianist, Francisco, is Chilean and cute as fuck, and he did a lot of Billy Joel and Elton John and some Broadway and stuff. I haven’t hit on him yet, but it’s only a matter of time. As I said on FB, this is not only a not-gay cruise, but seems to be a super straight cruise. I’m not here to find a husband, and that’s a good thing. But there were two bearish gentlemen who showed up at the piano bar. I do notice that the cruise director is pretty gay (shocker, I know) and today there are trivia sessions for “Broadway” (which I may go to) and “Will & Grace” and “Golden Girls”. So the passengers may not be gay, but the cruise staff certainly is.

(Cruises have, since I started, put on their schedules an LGBT meetup at one of the bars, just for people to get to find each other. Back in 1999, it was listed as “Friends of Dorothy” – now it’s just listed as LGBT. But cool. I ended up being too tired to go last night.)

You can sign up for a set dinner time, but I signed up for the ‘whenever I feel like it’ option. You use an app to ‘check in’, which means ‘ get me a table ASAP’. I did this while at the piano bar, and the wait was longish (about 30 minutes), but the app then tells you your table is ready. Also, thank the gods, they don’t make single people share tables, although you have that option if you want to. So I got my own table.

One thing cruise ships do nicely is allow you to buy a bottle of wine, but just keep it at the restaurant (you don’t have to finish it in one dinner). So I got a bottle of a Cotes du Rhone white, which was fun and not that pricey, and actually only had one glass. And had a caesar salad for starter, a shrimp szechuan dish for main and cheesecake for dessert. I thought the portions were all pretty small, but that’s not a problem when (as many of us do on a cruise ship) you’ve been nibbling all day.

Afterward, I went to the ‘welcome aboard’ show in the theater, having a Kahlua and cream as a 2nd dessert. This was kinda fun, and also got a preview of the ‘classic rock’ theater show I could see tonight – eh, I think I’m going to see the later-night comedy show where they can use swear words.

And so to bed.

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This morning I got up early enough to put on my exercise clothes and arrive a little late for an instructor-led stretching session on the Lido deck. It was OK, but I think I can skip it in the future. Did a power walk around the ship, found some new outside deck areas I hadn’t seen yesterday. Then cleaned up and to breakfast. Then to an information session about Bermuda tomorrow – really a commercial to sign up for their tours, but also a big warning about making it back to the ship on time. We really don’t have a huge window there, so my plan to go all the way to the other end to see St. Georges, while still doable, will not have a lot of wiggle room. There was a raffle and I was hoping to win either a free dinner at the steakhouse or a snorkel tour, but won nothing.

Anyway the rest of the day will be little sit-down projects interspersed with some shopping and maybe Broadway trivia and certainly at some point a burger on the Lido deck. And the same late-day swim/cleanup/cocktail/dinner/show kind of thing I did last night.

Probably next post will be after Bermuda, so in a couple of days. *waves*