Not promising, but this post might bring me up to date… let’s see how far I get.

Saturday of Labor Day Weekend was my 10th wedding anniversary. I’d kept the plan very simple. I had to return my rental car from the road trip, so I got cleaned up and a little more prettified than usual. I put on my wedding ring and the other ring that was his wedding gift to me. I also (had not done this before) found a gold chain in his jewelry box and wore his wedding ring around my neck.

Got the car and went to the cemetery, where I had a nice visit. I think I’ve said before, there’s a guy whose wife’s crypt is across from Charles’s, and every time I visit, he shows up, which means he must go every day. That’s very sweet – but of course if I’m standing in this hallway nattering away, I don’t want an audience other than the intended ones. So I just smile and nod and switch to my ‘inside voice’.

Then went and tanked up the car. I’m sure there’s a way to switch the display, but this car didn’t show how much gas was left, it showed how many miles I had left – and I was down to like 25. So I was very much relying on it being accurate. But it was (enough) and after gas, I went to my favorite diner over at 94th and Astoria Boulevard – where there was no parking. Actually, there was a guy in the parking lot gesturing me into one of the handicapped spaces, but I was like, ‘no, I don’t think so’ and parked on the street. (It became clear later that the guy really did work there and I would have been fine, but whatever.) I hadn’t been there in a while, the staff was happy to see me, which is nice. Had a nice breakfast (a waffle, yum).

Off to the Avis lot, dropped off the car, and walked home. For the millionth time, I am annoyed that the (LaGuardia) Avis lot is not at all set up for people on foot – they expect you to be on their shuttle coming in or going out, or in one of their cars – and it’s actually kind of dangerous to arrive or leave on foot. I guess I could write them a strongly-worded letter, but I don’t really know how they could fix it.

And then I did laundry and chilled for the rest of the day. That might have been the night that I went to Hombres Bar for a Saturday night drink, as I sometimes do. On Saturday, they have a go-go boy who dances on the bar, and I’m fine with that, and with tipping him, but usually then he comes down on the floor and gently dry-humps you so maybe you’ll hire him? Anyway, I find that offputting and am going to avoid Saturday nights for a while, I think.

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Sunday I went grocery shopping. I’d spent 3 of the previous 5 weeks traveling and had nothing in the fridge. So bought a bunch of stuff, including some freezer-stocking ingredients, and got that done.

I’d booked a late lunch/early dinner at Becco with close friends to celebrate the 10th anniversary. I’d tried to time it to avoid the matinee crowds – it was at 2:00. There were six of us (my two neighbors and I came in together on the subway). What I hadn’t realized until the waitress was pressuring us to order was that the kitchen actually closes down after lunch and before dinner, so we were more rushed than I’d have liked. We all had cocktails mostly to start, and then got bottles of wine. I was prepared to get the ‘sinfonie di pasta’, but they had a veal piccata special, so I got that instead. We all got dessert, but then went our separate ways afterward rather than continuing the ‘party’ (such as it was) elsewhere.

How do you celebrate an occasion with such mixed emotions? The 10th anniversary of such a joyous occasion absolutely should be marked. But the marriage has ended! Not through our own choice, it didn’t dissolve, it just stopped. Abruptly. Death did us part. But although subdued, this was a lovely gathering with people very dear to me. I will say that this might be the last ‘let’s gather together to celebrate a Charles and Eric thing’ I do. We did a gathering for the first ‘yarzeit’ (I’m not Jewish – is that correct?), and Patti and Tessa and I have been getting together for his birthday, but I don’t see having the impetus for another gathering of this sort. Which is fine – part of the process of moving on and forward.

I don’t remember what I did on the Monday holiday – probably a lot of post-trip cleanup stuff – but Susan and I met for dinner, as she’d had to miss the Becco gathering – and we got all caught up.

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Since then there was a spate of cooking. A frittata (six breakfasts!), baked chicken breasts (six entrees), a pork tenderloin (six more entrees) Most of that went into the freezer, so I can pull meat chunks out when needed (mmm, appetizing). I’ll have to figure out what’s next – it’s going to be soup weather soon.

Score study – I’m applying for a conducting job that is very exciting – more on that if it pans out.

The debate! which was a lot of fun.

And now I have to get on the stick and make sure my fall is cleanly laid out, especially this trip that my Dad and I are going to take to celebrate his big birthday in December.

Yep, that’s actually pretty much it. More as it develops…