This was an interesting year, and 2025 looks to be more interesting still. I don’t have much to say about the presidential election that others haven’t already said, except that I am hoping that Trump’s and the Republicans’ ineptitude have them tripping over their own feet rather than implementing one horror after another. Oh, I think they’ll try.
That being said, I think that we-the-left mostly did everything right this past fall and we still lost. So not sure where to head next. I think settling back and watching it play out to the point where the next defensive or positive action becomes obvious is the way to go.
I’d meant to spent 2024 concentrating on figuring out my own retirement and redoing my will. Neither of these things happened (yet). Instead, 2024 was about milestones.
Birthdays and Anniversaries
So, what did we have this year?
May: two years since Charles’s death. Not ‘celebrated’ in any special way, just noted. I don’t think we need to put focus on May 20th every year.
August: tenth wedding anniversary. To celebrate/remember, I took close friends who’d all been part of the wedding back to the wedding venue (Becco) for an early dinner. It was lovely, although not particularly joyous. And I think that was the final bookend to the marriage. I’ll still take myself out to dinner every year, but no need to make a big deal out of it.
September: my sixtieth birthday and thirtieth anniversary of moving to NYC. If I’d had the time and energy, I would have thrown a huge party at some NYC institution, like Tavern on the Green. Alas, I did not. The day itself was a Wednesday. I ended up just taking the day off and taking three close friends to afternoon tea at the Plaza. This was a lot of fun!
So now I’m sixty (yay…), but still delighted to be living in NYC, although as I head into retirement, I can absolutely see myself splitting time between NYC and… somewhere else. Or just traveling a lot, which I love to do.
December: my dad’s ninetieth birthday. One of the big ‘oh what a shame’ things over the last few years is that, after my mom’s passing, Dad (in great shape for his age) was free to travel, but COVID hit almost immediately and he couldn’t. So I decided to offer to take him on a trip for his birthday, and we just finished that trip! Much more detail in following posts, but it was a great idea and, overall, we had a great time.
But plotting and planning all these events, which really could not be ignored or postponed, sucked up a lot of the year, and it’s nice to be heading into 2025 without anything like that to worry about.
Health
I’d started the year just a couple of months out from getting a pacemaker for a suddenly-appearing heart condition. I was still cautious, and reluctant to get out there and exert myself, even though intellectually, I knew that it would probably be the best thing for me.
So, of course I gained weight, as one does. Kind of quickly and kind of scarily.
Now, I’d started Wegovy, the weight-loss drug, for a bit in fall 2023, but we’d stopped it after the heart thing, just to remove a variable from the equation. It was time to get back on. So I did that in late summer and I’m very happy for it. I didn’t lose a ton of weight, but have certainly lost some and have definitely felt (and enjoyed) the loss of appetite. Unfortunately, right before I left on the Dec trip, my pharmacy announced that they just couldn’t get any, and so I’ve been off it for a month now and I’ll have to go track it down again. That’s annoying.
I did start exercising again (hurrah) and that’s really helped with my energy and I’ll be picking that back up immediately.
I also started seeing a therapist. It’s about damn time, right? It’s really great, we do it via televideo, I like him a lot, and it’s so nice when the fucked-up thoughts come to just say, ‘huh, that’s weird, I’ll talk to Will about it on Tuesday, ” and then not worry about it.
Certainly, one of the many things we address is my grief, but I’m definitely getting to the point where I’m moving on. I was never stuck, really, but the grief is at a steady state and the waves are few and far between.
Love Life
Hahaha. None. Not really. I’ve gone to bars and stuff. I’m definitely ready to date again, but don’t really want to actively pursue it (via Match.com or whatever) until I am really settled and secure in where I’m going – and I’m heading in that direction. I don’t think I’ll ever be a Grindr/Scruff person. I did break a long long long dry spell this year, but, although lovely, it wasn’t in the context of the sort of relationship I’m actually looking for. Still, there’s hope. I’ve gotten enough ‘expressions of interest’ that I don’t think I’m going to be a complete dud when putting myself out there for real again.
Travel
I did a lot of traveling this year and loved it all.
Last winter I did a long weekend up in Rhinebeck staying with my friends Patti and Peter. Patti and I went to antique stores and I got some good stuff.
In late March, I went to Toronto for a conference. Notable in that
- I love Toronto and hadn’t been in many years.
- I lost my wallet on the first night I was there, so that was a crisis, but I dealt with it.
- I actually enjoyed the conference itself quite a lot, and didn’t feel like a fraud. That was unusual.
I turned a little trip to Baltimore for a Gilbert & Sullivan sing into a week-long road trip, working while on the road. A brief stop in Manassas. A couple of days in Charlottesville, where I’d never been (even though half my high school class went to UVa). Several days in Richmond, staying with my friends Drew and Liz and being touristed about. And ended up in Durham for a long weekend with my dad (and brother). Fun!
I had an opportunity to do something vacation-y around the long July 4th weekend and ended up taking a perfectly timed cruise to Bermuda. That was really enjoyable, and answered the question ‘are cruises fun alone?’. Yes, they are.
In August, I headed back to England for the G&S festival. Last year, I’d gone to Oslo and Sweden first, and then was the music director for the show (Ruddigore). This time I did London things first (London is nowhere near the festival) and day trips to Oxford and Cambridge, which I’d always wanted to see – and was just in the chorus this time (Mikado). Show went well, then back to London where I joined friends of mine in town for more tourist stuff.
Then in late August, I did a mini road trip/Rhinebeck stay. An overnight at Rainbow Mountain with my sorta-ex Jim, a visit with the entire Keiser clan in the Catskills, then to Rhinebeck to work for the week in ‘the country’.
In late September, the weekend after my birthday, I went up the Hudson to Beacon, where my niece took me on Fun Fall Outings, including apple picking and flea marketing. That was a blast.
My buddy Susan took me along for an overnight in central PA, to visit her family’s graves and put flowers on them – but also to go to Knoebel’s Grove, a really great amusement park. Susan, Janna and I had a great time and Susan’s already plotting a return trip for her birthday in April.
I visited my dear friends Susanna and Patrick up in Rochester for Thanksgiving, an old tradition from pre-Charles days, and now the current tradition again. This was lovely, as always. Highlights, other than the food and company, were seeing “Wicked” and visiting the John Eastman house.
And finally, the bulk of December spent out of town, celebrating my Dad’s big-zero birthday (and my brother’s regular birthday a few days later) and taking Dad on a two-week west coast road trip. More to come on that…
For 2025, I’m going back to the G&S festival again in August to conduct HMS Pinafore and also do chorus for The Zoo (or end up in the orchestra, maybe?). I’m not plotting extra tourism this time, I’ll just fly into Manchester and do Buxton with no added frills. I’m sure I’ll do a lot more travelling, but not sure what yet.
Shows (and Performing), Movies, TV, Books
I didn’t do much performing at all this year, quite deliberately refusing horn gigs and other stuff (although now that we’re into 2025, I’m definitely going to start playing again). My buddy Marisa and I put together a Mikado concert for the G&S society, as a dry run for our festival Mikado in August. I had a fun time doing chorus for the festival Mikado – I’d conducted the show, but had never been on stage for it.
At home, I’ve actually returned to piano practice, but with a very narrow focus. I’m going to learn all those Two-Part Inventions if it kills me. I’ve actually made a lot of progress, and working on Bach is actually great for my mental health.
Shows I saw this year that I really loved:
- on Broadway, Our Town, Sweeney Todd and Once Upon a Mattress.
- off Broadway, Cats: the Jellicle Ball, Little Shop of Horrors
- London: Guys & Dolls
- Community: VLOG’s The Baker’s Wife
I also saw and enjoyed Hamilton, Back to the Future, The Heart of Rock & Roll, Lempicka, Spamalot and Oh Mary, as well as BHT’s HMS Pinafore and Cinderella, St. Barts’s Songs for a New World and a cabaret showcase at Don’t Tell Mama’s.
I didn’t see a lot of movies in the theater – just Blink Twice and Wicked. I really liked BT, loved Wicked. I’m sure I saw movies at home too, but nothing’s jumping out at me.
TV-wise, I saw a lot of stuff, mostly streaming, but really enjoyed Succession a lot, although it was tough to watch. Other shows I enjoyed: Wednesday, Poker Face, Matlock, Elsbeth, Shrinking, Bosch: Legacy, The Lincoln Lawyer, Northern Exposure (my first watch!), English Teacher.
Books – my usual plethora of romances, both straight and gay. I decided to read all the Jack Reachers in publication order (I’ve read about half of them before) and that has proven to be absolutely worthwhile. I also, after dabbling hither and yon in Discworld, have made a concerted effort to read all the Sam Vimes books, and they started great and got better and better. (That being said, I’m finishing Snuff now and didn’t really like it much, although I’m absolutely tickled by how much Sam enjoys being a dad.)
I still need to make more of an effort to read all the print books I’ve got waiting – it’s easier for me to read on the Kindle, but if a book is good, I’ll read it no matter what the format is.
OK… I think that’s gonna be it. I am just as terrified as everyone else about what 2025 is going to look like from a political and climate view, but for some reason, I think my own personal 2025 might be really good. I’m coming into it with more strength and energy than I’ve had in years.
Happy New Year!
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