Unfreezing

I am very much looking forward to warmer weather. I did maintain the (minor) weight loss I pulled off after the holidays, but stalled out, and a simple ‘get up every morning and powerwalk’ once it’s warm enough to do so will help me tremendously.

Still stuck in the mire here. I can’t go into detail, but I have loved ones going through various medical things (and I’ve got my own minor medical things) that generate constant worry, and that’s a problem in itself. At least we got through COVID with no obvious damage. (C never did test positive, although I suspect he had it, as his symptoms were similar to mine.) I had a strained back that completely derailed my 3-day weekend last weekend, although I did get out to brunch with old friends.

The thought keeps occurring to me that I’m not happy or satisfied, but I don’t even have a vague picture of what ‘better’ looks like. Because the obvious ‘better’ is ‘before’ – before we got old, before Fox News melted the brains of half the country, before the Trump presidency, before COVID, before war in Ukraine. We are getting through, but I don’t know what ‘good’ looks like. ‘Retired’, certainly, is something to target, but that still seems farther away than it should be.

But there is enjoyment happening. I missed the first orchestra rehearsal I was called for, so somehow I’m going to end up performing both the Rachmaninoff 2nd piano concerto (as the soloist? No, hahahaha) and Berlioz’s Symphonie Fantastique in a couple of weekends after what seems to me a handful of rehearsals. However, I am not finding my parts difficult at all – or the few parts that are remotely challenging have been looked at and processed and are now fine. Very specific horn-technical note – in the Berlioz, I have exactly one note that’s marked as ‘muted’ – and it’s the only muted anything I have in any of the 3 pieces on the program. Although my new fancy horn case holds my mute, so I do actually have it with me, I am tempted to just ignore it, just so I don’t have to bring my mute with me to my chair (along with my stand, my music, my glasses, my horn, my spit towel and so on). Lazy hornist.


We still have been watching Olympic figure skating in leisurely increments, and wanted to watch some last night (we haven’t gotten to the big ladies program kerfluffle yet) but now that the Olympics is over, Peacock has made it much harder (impossible?) to find the replays, so we may just be out of luck.

We’ve also been watching Oscary movies. Let’s see:

  • The Power of the Dog: was my favorite best film nominee until last night. It’s gorgeous and I couldn’t help contrasting the reality of the shots with the “I’m in a comic book” fake scenery of Nightmare Alley. I think Cumberbatch will win his category, and I want him to.
  • Dune: handsome, but I didn’t care. Not a fan of the book.
  • Belfast: same, I just didn’t care.
  • King Richard: we watched this this weekend, really enjoyed it.
  • Don’t Look Up: I really liked it, I don’t think it’s best-movie material though
  • Nightmare Alley: despite the cast and the premise, hated it.
  • Being the Ricardos: enjoyed this a lot. Sad that Nina Arianda was the one snubbed for a nomination – she’s terrific in the movie and in general.
  • CODA: OMG, we saw this last night and loved it (we both cried). This is my favorite now, although I don’t think it will win. It does, unfortunately, have the same ‘plucky outsider auditions for choir/conservatory/whatever’ issues that you see in movie after movie (Fame, Flashdance, Unorthodox). At least they gave a quick nod to our heroine needing a classical number for her audition, although you never see her stab at ‘Caro mio ben’ or whatever. Anyway, I’d be delighted if Troy Kotsur won, his performance is a delight. All of them are.
  • Lost Daughter: liked it without loving it. Delighted that Jessie Buckley (?) got nominated, that was well-deserved.
  • Animated films: we’ve seen all of the full-lenght ones except for Flee and we’ll see that before the end of March. We also watched Robin Robin, which is sweet and somewhat bizarre.

We still need to see West Side Story, Licorice Pizza, MacBeth and so on, which we will.


Enjoy the week, as far as your own mental state allows you to…


This post is part of a larger project, #MOC19. Read more about the Mass Observation COVID-19 project here

One thought on “Unfreezing

  1. Roger Barton

    Perhaps the sense of “not quite satisfactory” is due to the constant crises in rapid succession to which we’re all expected to respond, and the too-frequent cancellations of things (concerts, rehearsals, dinner with friends, etc.) we were looking forward to. We’re constantly reminded to “be careful out there,” although such reminders should no longer be necessary, and I personally find them irritating. In my case, the best therapy seems to be taking the dogs out for a nice long walk. I hope you can find something similar (maybe the power walking?), something that results in simple, undemanding enjoyment for a time, which can clear your mind of the worries and frustrations.

    Liked by 1 person

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