I did the smart thing this year and took September 11th off from work. Especially on the 25th anniversary, I thought it best to reserve the day for reflection. I usually quite deliberately don’t think about that day unless I’ve carved out space for myself to really let go.
If you haven’t read Charles’s account of our 9/11/01, it’s here. I noticed that, although there’s virtually no formatting in the HTML page, it was very small to read on a device, so today I made it display larger. I share it every year not only because it’s an important eyewitness account, but it’s extraordinary because Charles wrote it. Charles never had a great relationship with the written word – I’m 99% sure he was dyslexic, although it was never diagnosed. But he was driven to get his story out and to send it to our loved ones. I cannot underline enough that, although the day was devastating to everyone who experienced it (certainly to me), his up-close-and-personal experience really did damage in a way that affected him (and us) for the rest of his life. And although I know no one was capable of ‘fixing’ that, I will always carry guilt and shame that I couldn’t.
All my friends, relatives and my shrink: don’t feel guilt and shame, it’s not your fault.
Eric: I know that. Up top. Not down in my lizard brain.
I don’t think I’ve ever written up my experience of 9/11. Don’t know if there’s a lot of there there. But I should probably do it just to get it out of my head.
Anyway, I spent this Friday anniversary watching the names being read (and crying). Then watching a streaming concert from Eastman featuring their horn choir and also three Eastman alumni who all play in Army bands. One of them (J.G. Miller) had written a piece specifically as a memorial: three horn soloists with horn choir: Qualia Memoriam (2026)
The title reflects on three solo voices, all who experienced the tragedy in different ways; one who was already serving would soon deploy later to combat, another who was in high school not knowing what would come of the world, and a third who only has memories through hearing the story from others – having never truly experienced it firsthand.
Isn’t that an interesting concept? I liked the piece a lot. Overall, it was a lovely concert, and how cool to be able to stream it live and for free.
I spent most of the afternoon watching the bulk of a really terrific documentary series on Hulu: 9/11: One Day in America. Definitely learned a lot of details I hadn’t known already, Particularly tragic: the man who was at the next-door Marriot for a conference, ended up shepherding a woman who had been totally burned by jet fuel to waiting EMTs, and then found out later that his sister and niece had been on one of the planes. (heartbreaking) So many stories, so many close calls, so much tragedy. And of course watching all these people moving around in the (we know now, toxic) dust. The miniseries was made in conjunction with the 9/11 museum, and if you haven’t visited it, get yourself hence, it’s amazing. I think I’m going to try to go down to the memorial sometime this week, maybe before going to the office.
Ifinished my evening by watching the pro shot of Come from Away, which I had not watched before (I’d seen the show live). What a lovely heartwarming work. As I’ve said ever since I saw it the first time, I really would love to be in it.
Speaking of meaningful musical theater, we’re now in solid rehearsals for 1776. I do (as McNair) get to sing “Sit Down, John” as well as my little bit in “Mama, Look Sharp”. But this is a sui generis piece of musical theater – the bulk of the characters really don’t get to sing very many songs. It also has an infamous “22 minutes without a musical number” dialog scene, which we blocked this past week. I don’t actually have a lot of dialogue, but once we have enough space on stage, and props, my character will be in action pretty much constantly, I’ll bet.
It’s a fun bunch of people and as soon as our stage manager put together an informational group chat on Whatsapp, a cast member put together another one for cast silliness, which has been a steady source of delight. We’ve also made sure to start creating ‘let’s go get a drink after rehearsal’ plans (we’ve had at least one so far, great fun) and so, even though I’ve got a job on this show which doesn’t come naturally to me and which I’m having to put in a lot of thought and planning, it’s clear the experience as a whole is going to be really rewarding.
I talked to Dad a week ago after the show got settled and at some point, he asked a great question, when will they see me next? I often go for a visit mid-November around Veteran’s day, but this year it’s smack in the middle of the week. Well, there’s also Indigenous People’s/Columbus Day and that is a long weekend so I’ve decided to zip down and see them then. That will be just a couple of weeks after my birthday trip to Ptown, and after that second trip, it will be rehearse rehearse rehearse SHOW THANKSGIVING RETIREMENT CHRISTMAS.
So yeah, fall’s pretty much mapped out.
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